Monday, January 21, 2013

Diary: What's bothering you?!


Hi! Hi!

How are you all?!

Today, I have a bit of a different post...

But, too be honest, I just wanted to get some thoughts off my chest cause they're starting too annoy me and make me angry. So, before I let them fester I'm just going too write everything out and let it go so it doesn't bother me any more.
Is that okay?
But basically I have this friend - I will call her Honi-chan... and she's been a very good friend over the years - eight years! We've been friends since the beginning of High School. So yes, a long time, but as you can imagine, things don't stay the same do they?
Sadly, I don't think my friend and I have very much in common any more.
But sometimes, people that don't have things in common can still be friends right!?
Right!?

So I guess I should explain why this is bothering me...
Well, I don't think she's being a good friend lately!
She hasn't really done anything to hurt me, not at all.
Nothing like that.
It's just she does nothing.
Nothing at all.

And you're probably like, well, then what's the problem?!
(Or maybe you know someone like that, and you're like, I know what you mean, eh)

I still like my friend but sometimes she does things I don't understand.
Like she never texts or calls me.
Okay, I admit, in high school she never called anyway so that doesn't count.
But she never texts me first anymore.
She always only texts me when she knows one of our mutual friends birthdays are coming up.
Which I never really understood, since all the event now are on Facebook, she can check it herself?
(Plus, it just makes me feel really silly for always telling her what the events are, because then I just feel like I'm only useful to her too check facebook for her...)
And then there's the only time she wants to hang out, is when we go shopping in the city and when I or my other friends plan something other than that, she doesn't want too do it.
She likes going out too dinner too which I like too.
That's fine! I have no problem with that either.
I don't really like shopping that much though, since when I got too the city I always buy too much XD I prefer to go online shopping. I can manage my money better online, you see.
And I don't get why she likes to go shopping when you have nothing to buy either.
She's good, not like me, I just buy lots of random things, I don't need.
Apart of me doesn't like inviting her, because I know she doesn't have a job and no income so I don't want to invite her, cause she doesn't have the money.
I know it's none of my business and she's never stated that something was 'too expensive' for her too do.
But I know.
If I didn't have a job or money, I wouldn't want anyone tempting me. :(
Ahaha, anyway, side tracked.
She never plans anything, really, she just waits for others too plan things and get invited.
Which bugs me, because I'm always the one that asks the others; can Honi come?!
I sound like I need her with me...
But I want my friend too come with us too because she matters too me. :/
I wonder if she would do the same for me as well...

And then there's the times, when we plan something for something special, like New Years Eve or we plan too go to a convention together.
And ahm, she completely blows me off very last minute.
Hours before hand actually.
And can't come because of a... well, a silly excuse in my opinion.
See, if you're only meeting your friends for coffee, it's fine too blow it off with a silly excuse because it's not really that important.
But if you've say, already bought tickets to an event or it's a monumental day, you should not blow it off for a silly excuse. (A silly excuse would be blaming the weather for not coming to a party! Or mixing up the dates, when you already bought the ticket that stated the date on it!)
(These are both true!)

But basically, I don't feel like I haven't done anything too be and less of a friend but I don't feel like it's being reciprocated or appreciated.
Like; I downloaded the Pretty Little Liars Season 2 for her and I told her when it finished downloading, too invite me over and I would give it too her as I already had it on my hard drive ready.
And she never invited me over ...
(Late found out, instead of inviting me over, she was buying it off itunes... -_-')
Am I really bad house guest or something!?
Huh? Why did she want to pay for it  when I had it for free?
There have been other situations where I've done things, like I gave her my free face mask from Lush because she kept saying she wanted to try them.
So I have five tubs and they take the tubs and give you a free face mask for recycling them. :D
So I let her have my free tub since I don't really need anymore masks - I have so many.
Later on I asked her if she liked it.
And she told me she never used it!! >:(
Whhaaa-?
I was really upset. I thought she wanted to try it really badly, so I gave her mine, and she never used it! I could have kept it and used it if that was the case.
Urgh now I'm just whining....
But am I being silly and over looking into everything?! Or am I just being mean!?
I really want to be friends with Honi-chan but I know I can't change people and I'm sure I have my own annoying traits too...
Or am I right?! If someone doesn't put in enough to maintain a friendship, can it continue to grow?!
Urgh.
I'm going to go do some stuff.
Hopefully, by writing this, I stop thinking about these things...
Uff.
Baiiii!
Bunny.Berri

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8 comments

  1. uuuu ;A;, maybe you should talk to her? If you say something, it might make her realise~ I don't think you're being a bad friend - it's good that you're concerned ^^

    I had a friend like that too, but it's been a year since we spoke (ToT) so, maybe if you talk, it might not end up like that?

    Either way, I hope you work it out with your friend~~ 八(^□^*)

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    Replies
    1. I don't want too say anything though... I'm not very good at finding the right words... :( OR saying what I want... I'm scared I'll say something that will sound mean. :( I just wanna be friends who actually want too be friends and it matters....

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  2. I'm going to come at it from a different perspective. Perhaps you've just outgrown her. I don't know the whole story, but from what I'm reading, it seems less like you're holding onto her because the two of you share so much in common, and more like you're holding onto her because you feel loyal to her and you don't want to betray that. That's not a very good reason to stay with a friend....

    I know it's really hard to let go of someone who you used to be so very close to, believe me, but I'll try to explain myself here.

    First, definitely try to talk to her about it. Make sure it's not "You do this to me," but more like "I feel like..." so it doesn't come off as confrontational. If she seems genuinely receptive, then maybe it's a slump. However, if nothing has changed, it may be time to let go.

    I'm not saying you have to end it completely, if that idea makes you too uncomfortable. Perhaps don't invite her out as often, and maybe cut back on giving to her like you have been.

    Finally, and most importantly, having these thoughts do not make you mean. The fact that you're this concerned is proof enough. It is a sad thing to have to leave a friend, especially one who means a lot to you and has been in your life for a long time, but friendships are meant to be mutually beneficial, not stressful or one-sided. You shouldn't have to remain in a relationship that makes you unhappy just out of loyalty to that person.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww, your comment really helped me, Aimiya! I don't really want too talk too her, cause it sounds like I'm gonna be mean. Maybe I should try cutting back and just waiting too see if she notices?! That's a good idea.. If she doesn't I might ask her if she still wants to be friends then... Thank you so much!

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    ReplyDelete
  4. I know it is sad, considering that you guys have been friends for such long. But eventually people grow apart. You should talk to her, ask her if there is something wrong, and tell her how you feel. Hopefully you guys can work things out :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hopefully, one day, I will work up the courage too say something :/ One day.

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  5. complimenti un blog carinissimo , ti seguiro se ti va passa a trovarmi mi farebbe piacere buon fine settimana

    ReplyDelete

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